One of the few positives of being stuck in a doctors’ waiting room for an hour, is that you can actually read those articles in the magazines (rather than just skimming over the reviews of new movies and other lite fare).  My latest reading session had me stumbling across an article in Afar Magazine about the tragically-underreported Welsh sport of bog snorkeling.  Bog snorkeling?  I thought as I read. Those wacky UK folks think of all the good sports! 

Naturally curious about this, and other sports of my ancestral UK, I decided to do a little research on this and other Odd (not just) British Sports:

*pardon my all-inclusive use of “British” to include Wales, Ireland, Scotland, England, and Australia.  It’s just easier for me that way; if you’ve got a problem with that, I just had brain surgery, so back off!

**All links & videos looked fairly family-friendly at first glance, but, nonetheless, I claim no responsibility for their content.

***Any less-than-correct information I’ve got on here is the result of a very hasty research process; a simple comment stating these corrections would be sufficient, as opposed to other forms of one-upmanship that will instantly delete themselves.

Bog Snorkeling- Swimmers in wetsuits or silly costumes swim w/ flippers and snorkels through a murky peat bog, trying to get the best time for two laps of a 55m trench.  Huge in Wales, Ireland, and Australia, among other places where people like to make arses of themselves…

 

Wellie Wanging – There’s much more to it (including an official World Welly Wanging Association set of rules) but, basically, they throw boots.  That’s pretty much it.  One can only assume (as with most, if not all, of the other contributions to this list) that alcohol played a significant role in the sport’s inception:

Shin Kicking- Pretty much what it advertises; guys kicking each others’ shins until the last man is standing.  When did we decide that having a British accent automatically meant class and charming, ascerbic wit came along, too?

 

Cheese Rolling- probably the most widely-publicized of the group.  The Cooper’s Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake takes place each year near Gloucester, England, which one can assume has an excellent local Emergency Room.  Nobody really knows where the tradition came from (if Wikipedia uses the phrase, “Accurate information is hard to come by,” you know there ain’t much out there), but this silly, exceptionally-vertical sport-like tradition should probably expect to continue for at least another 200 yrs (or at least as long as we have the aforementioned alcohol):

Pea Shooting – Should you find yourself in the otherwise-sleepy town of Witcham, England on 10 Jul, 2010 (to type it the proper Brit way), and should you have brought your specialty-designed, hand-crafted pea shooter, you, too, can compete in this riveting test of skill and lung power, a sport which the likes of Patrick Swayze, Erik Estrada, and Pat Robertson have previously enjoyed (mighty fine company…).

(I couldn’t find any vids online of actual pea-shooting, but this phenomenon has apparently spurred creation of a related video game; think Madden NFL, but with peas)

Black-Pudding Throwing – Another one that pretty much delivers what it advertises…

Coal Carrying – In this test of the human spirit, contestants race carrying sacks of coal uphill for about a mile, from the Royal Oak pub to the Maypole, in otherwise-lovely Gawthorpe, just outside Yorkshire, England.  The linked article explains the origins of this confusing tradition, but I really didn’t understand it, as it was written in real phonetic England English.  Best I can gather, a bunch of guys were bored one Easter Sunday, and just started making stupid dares to one another:

Ottery St. Mary Tar Barrels  – Picture the scene: a bunch of guys running around with barrels full of burning tar on their backs, and, instead of putting those deadly fires out like any civilized person (or, in the UK, any civilised person)would, they cheer them on!  You Brits are sick!

Dwyle Flunking – According to Wikipedia, “The pastime of Dwile Flonking involves two teams, each taking a turn to dance around the other while attempting to avoid a beer-soaked dwile (cloth) thrown by the non-dancing team.”  Guess we’re not even trying to hide the rampant alcoholism thing here.

Worm Charming – Whatever else happens in my life, if I can ever gain membership to The International Federation of Charming Worms and Allied Pastimes (IFCWAP), my life shall be a success…

World Gurning Championship – Basically, people put on a horse-collar, then make the wackiest facial contortions possible.  At last, recognition of the talents of all those little kids who were always told they’d never amount to anything…

Stinging-Nettle Eating – I imagine the postgame press conferences for this one are pretty short…

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I could quite literally spend another month of research on this one, and keep finding odd little ways those wacky Brits find to entertain themselves.  Any notables I left out?