In what has become an annual holiday tradition here on the beach: it gives me great pleasure to present to you the 2nd grade responses(courtesy of the students of a friend of mine) to urgent situation described here

Poor Mrs. V! She has to cook Thanksgiving dinner, and she’s never cooked a turkey before! So she turned to some experts to help her out—her second grade class. They generously shared their recipes for how to cook a turkey dinner!

S.– First you need a turkey. There are turkeys in the wild. Go out in the wild and try to catch one. Take off the feathers (or you can just put it on the barbeque and wait for the feathers to burn off). Cook it for 30 or 20 minutes. It’ll be brown, with no feathers on it. Set the table. Gets some fancy plates, fancy napkins and forks. Have peas and corn. You already have the meat, because there’s turkey. Have ice cream or Skinny Cow ice cream bars for dessert.

C.– We do enchiladas. Get a turkey. Put some little tiny corn in it. Put some vegetables, like broccoli, in it. Get a big pan and put the turkey in it and put it in the stove. Cook it for 500 minutes. Put the turkey in the enchiladas, and put some cheese in it and put some sauce on top of it. Put some sauce inside it, too. We eat some other things like cheeseburgers. Get some buns and cheese and carne (meat). Dad comes home and he puts it on the stove. Invite other people to your house, like your family.

S.– Put the turkey in the oven. Wait for a long time, like around an hour. Cook it around 10 degrees. Put a fork in it and open it up. It will look like chicken. Taste it so you’ll know how many minutes to put it back in the oven for. It’s not done if it’s really watery. If it’s juicy and sweet, it’s done. While it’s cooking you should do the drinks. Have apple cider, or whatever your guests like. You could have enchiladas, too. They’re really easy. Get olives and chicken and tortillas. Put it in a wide pan dip it in spicy sauce. Put the olives and meat in it. Cook it in the oven for half an hour or less.  

L.– Get a turkey at the store. Put it in a big bowl. Stuff the turkey with stuffing. Stuffing is made of potatoes and meat. Put it on the stove. Fry it for 20 minutes. Have mashed potatoes and salad and rice. Put some seasoning sauce on the turkey. Set the table. Have some pumpkin pie for dessert.

A.– Get a turkey at the store. Check the turkey to see if it’s cold. If it’s cold, put it in the oven. Cook it for 40 minutes at 5 degrees. Get the table ready. Clean it and wash the plates and cups. Put apple juice in the cups. Have enchiladas. Get tacos and put cheese in them. Roll it like a circle. Cook them in the microwave for 20 minutes. Have frijoles (bean) burritos for dessert!

B.– Get a turkey at the store. Put it in the oven at 5 degrees and cook it for 10 minutes. Get it out and put it on a plate and put it on the table. Make scrambled eggs. First you get two eggs. Mix them up and cook them in a pan. Mix them and flip them over and put it on your plate. Pour some juice.

P.– Buy the turkey. There’s this wrapper inside it. You have to stick your hand up in the turkey to get it out. (There’s nothing in it. It’s just a wrapper.) You have to pull it out with your hand. Put the turkey in the oven and let it cook at 30 degrees for 1 minute and 30 seconds. Put the rest of the food on the table, like mashed potatoes and gravy and beans. Put bread on the table, too. For dessert, have an ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.

C.– Put some white sauce on the turkey so it will taste better. Put some cheese on it, too. Put it in the oven at 5 degrees. Cook it for half an hour. Have a plate of rice with stuff like sauce in it to make it yellow. Have meat and bread, too. Have pumpkin pie for dessert.

S.– Buy a turkey. Turn on the oven to 50 degrees. Stuff it with stuffing. Stuffing is a type of stew. Cook it for 30 minutes. Make mashed potatoes, green beans, and stew. Set the table. Have pumpkin pie for dessert. Get a pumpkin and take off the top. Take out all the seeds and put it in the pan that pies usually go in. Cook it for 15 minutes.

M.– Cut the turkey. The way I was taught how to do is to put some stuffing in the turkey. Stuffing is made out of bread crumbs and herbs and stuff. Start to cook the turkey. The oven should be 30 degrees. It takes about 20 minutes to cook it. Make mashed potatoes. Put butter and milk and potatoes. Peel them first. Mash the potatoes up, and then cook them. I’m thinking of vegetables. How about broccoli? For dessert, have pumpkin pie with whipped cream on it.

J.– Get mashed potatoes. Get potatoes and take off the skins and mash them. Buy gravy and pour it over the potatoes. Get a turkey and put it in a pot. Put it in the oven at 160 degrees for an hour. The oven will beep like this when it’s done: “Beep! Beep! Beep!” Get ham and corn and stuffing. Have pumpkin pie. That’s what my family eats at Thanksgiving.

S.– You have to buy a turkey from the store. Heat it up for 20 minutes in the stove. It should be 10 degrees. Cook it until the oven beeps. Make salad from carrots, tomatoes and lettuce. Have dressing for the salad. Have juice to drink. For dessert, have a cookie.

C.– First you buy a turkey at the store. Take it home and unwrap all of it. Some turkeys have strings, and some don’t. The strings are to hold it together. Warm your oven up for 5 minutes. It should be probably 70 degrees. Cut the turkey a little bit and put it in the oven and keep it in there for 30 minutes. Mash some potatoes and some rice. Buy a can of gravy at the store. Take the lid off and warm it up in the microwave for 2 minutes. Have some pumpkin pie.

C.– Buy a turkey from the store. Bake it in the oven for 14 minutes. Set the oven at 11 degrees. You can put a temperature thing in the turkey so you’ll know when it’s done. The temperature should be 14 degrees. Make stuffing from the turkey. Stuffing is made of butter and sugar and salt. You could have some ham with applesauce, too. Make some pasta, too. Have some ice cream with a cinnamon roll for dessert. Or you could just have soup.

A.– Get a turkey at Safeway. Buy it and bring it home. Put some oil and seasoning on it. Cook it in the oven. The oven has to be 375 degrees. It takes 30 minutes to cook. It will be brown and crispy when it’s done. Make toast with butter, and have soup. Get a special drink like sizzling apple cider to drink. Make pumpkin cream pie for dessert. Get a pie crust and put it in the pan. Get a pumpkin. You have to scoop out the stuff inside the pumpkin and cook it. Then take out the seeds and put the stuff in the crust. Get some whipped cream and pie seasoning. Put the whipped cream on top. Take a knife and cut it up and eat it.

P.– If you spend at least $100 at Safeway, you could get a free turkey! Take it home. Put ten bags around the bag that surrounds the turkey, and put it in the garage freezer. Then put it the refrigerator after it’s frozen. On Thanksgiving, put the turkey in the oven. The oven has to be 150 or 152 degrees. It takes about an hour or an hour and a half to cook. Or 15 minutes. It will look like a chicken when it’s done. Get some turkey gravy for the turkey. We get it at Costco. Set the turkey gravy on the counter so people can put it on their turkey, they want to. Usually for a side dish my family has some homemade raspberry Jell-O. Have mandarin oranges, and salad. You could make some popcorn, too. Have carrot cheesecake for dessert.

J.– Stuff the turkey with mashed potatoes. Put it in the oven and put in those red things that go in the legs. (They let you see if it’s done) Cook it for an hour at 39 degrees. If it’s dark brown, it’s done. You can also take out the things on the legs to see if it’s done. Or just poke it in the middle. Make gravy and this other sauce mix. Stir them up together and put it in a bowl. Have eggs and chips with guacamole for a treat. Decorate with balloons. Have brownies for dessert.

T.– Get a turkey at Haggen. Unwrap the wrapper and bake it for 20 minutes. Set the oven at 450 degrees. Make stuffing. Stuffing is made out of the turkey’s insides. It’s gooshy. Have peas and carrots. Make mashed potatoes. Smoosh the potatoes with this thing that looks like a… smoosher. It’s called a potato smasher. Have celery and vegetables and fruit. Have extra candy on the side. Have pumpkin pie for dessert. You can buy the pie and put it in the oven and let it cook at 460 degrees until the timer goes off. It may take 30 minutes. You want it to be nice and hot. Set the table and say a prayer!

D.– First you have to buy a turkey. Put seasoning on it, like pepper and salt. Fry it on the stove for 25 minutes. It’ll be dark. Make mashed potatoes and gravy. Take a bowl and put some potatoes in it. Start smashing them. Pour the gravy on them. Have corn and noodles. Use fancy plates and fancy napkins. For dessert, have pumpkin pie.

A.– Buy the turkey at the store. Unwrap it and put it on a tray. Put it in the oven for one minute and 50 seconds at “Medium.” Have mashed potatoes and gravy. Make gravy from meat and the juicy stuff that’s in the same pan as the turkey. The gravy will be at the bottom of the pan. Have beans and olives. Buy some games that you can play together. Have brownies for dessert. And maybe some cookies, too.

M.– Find a turkey at the supermarket. Or you could do live hunting. When it’s dead, clean it by washing it in the sink. Cook it in the oven on “Warm,” like 26 degrees. It takes an hour to cook. Make mashed potatoes. Get a packet of mashed potatoes. Buy some gravy. Put the gravy on the mashed potatoes. Have salad, too. Get a Thanksgiving tablecloth. Put the food in fancy bowls and plates. Have eggnog ice cream for dessert.

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